Overcoming fear

DISCLAIMER: I didn't take any pictures at our family reunion - I was having too much fun enjoying all the things going on to take the time to get out the camera. I was finally in the action, instead of just documenting the action! These are not my photos - just remember that.

This last Saturday - the 23rd of July - we went to a Ramsey family reunion at Lava Hot Springs. It was a great day - we had the family news, talent show, and the famous family auction where we got some cool things! We had a great lunch, then we had free time to go and swim at the Lava Hot Springs Pool.

They have a pretty cool facility - with two new slides and the diving boards and fun pool. It was pretty crowded, but we still had a great time. Abby was a daredevil and just wanted to jump off the diving boards. I watched her a while - then she challenged me to jump with her. I really don't like diving boards - it really does just terrify me. But - how do you say no to a seven year old that is jumping off the high dive for fun? So - I went off the little diving board - a mere 3 feet off the water. It wasn't so bad. Then Abby challenged me to go off the high dive - 10 feet from the water... well, I was scared. I didn't know if I could do it! But I just got up there, and decided to not think about it and just jump. I made it.

Then Kellilyn wanted to go off the first platform - 17 feet from the water. She wanted someone to come with her. I decided I didn't want to look like a wuss... so I said I'd do it. What was I thinking? But - I just tried really hard not to think of it, and just jump. I have to admit, when Kellilyn counted to 3 I hesitated when she jumped (you can jump 2 people at a time) and in the matter of maybe a half second there were a lot of thoughts that ran through my mind - and I didn't know if I could jump - so I just jumped. Oh - the feeling of falling! But I did it. My legs were shaking afterwards and I thought I was done. BUT... Kellilyn wanted to go off the second platform. I really didn't know if I could jump 25 feet - I really don't like heights. But - then again, I didn't want to look like a chicken!!!! (curse you peer pressure!) This height was a lot harder for me. I was really scared, and my stomach kept flipping. I didn't know if I was really going to jump. But I tried really really hard not to think too hard about it. And when Kellilyn counted to three I just jumped. It hurt when landed because I didn't plug my nose and the water went up my nose and my toes tingled as I hit the water... I knew I couldn't do that last platform. I just knew I could do it. I told Kellilyn she'd better go find Scott to jump off the top one with her! And I watched.....

BUT... when I saw Kimberly later on - she wanted someone to jump off the platforms with... ahhh...it starts all over. I jumped off the first one with her. That didn't seem to hard after the second one. Then, I tried to jump off the second one with her again - I hesitated this time - I thought too much about it and I knew it might hurt again. So - she jumped in the water at the count of three - and I didn't. How mean is that???? I felt bad, but my feet just wouldn't move, the just wouldn't. So - the guy behind me was alone, so I asked if he would jump with me and count to three for me. He was nice enough to play along and I did end up jumping! Then Kim wanted to jump from the 3rd platform. I kept saying no way!! Then Chris said something that made me do it. He said "you are going to hold Kim back from this opportunity if you don't go." Well, how do you say no to that? I don't want to be the reason that someone else didn't do something - so I put on my brave face (I'm not sure it worked). And I walked up the long staircase. It was really far up there. I tried not to look down at all when I got to the top. 33 feet?? seriously... I was so scared. Even now writing about it I can still feel my stomach churn at the thought. I was seriously seriously scared. The only reason I ended up jumping was the fact that the girl that was before us was too scared to jump when it came her turn. We tried to convince her - pump her up and get her to go - but she wouldn't - so she turned to Kim and I and said why don't you just go. So - we just jumped. Oh- I still feel like I'm falling!!!!!!! The memory is forever etched into my mind and body! It took forever to hit the water. I kept thinking I was about there - and I just kept falling and falling.. I was holding my breath and plugging my nose as soon as I jumped off the platform, but ended up having to take a breath about half way down! And then I hit the water like a brick. Seriously - it is not the funnest thing to hit the water at about 35 miles per hour (that is what they say you hit at) OUCH! I must have been ducking my face down a little when I hit, because I cut my lip with my tooth and my nose really hurt. But - I DID IT. I did the hardest thing I can think of to do! I used to think I wanted to go sky diving - but I'm just not sure about that one anymore!!!!!!! That was really scary.

I had a hard time sleeping that night - I kept thinking about jumping off, and feeling like I was. I am just glad I did it - and now I never have to do it again :) Oh - and my BRAVE little Abby not only jumped off the diving boards about a million times each - but was also brave enough to jump off the first platform - twice!! What a crazy kid :) She loves the water. Eric wanted to jump off the diving boards, but they wouldn't let him have floaties - so he couldn't. Maybe next year when he doesn't have to wear floaties!