Caution: I'm venting here, and being irrational (blame it on lack of sleep) - so if you don't want to hear it, don't read it :)
Ok - let's be real. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to have Andrew. I knew there would be sleepless nights, sickness, poopy diapers and crying. I knew those first few weeks would be insane, I even planned on not getting sleep for 3 months.. maybe 6. But 9 months... please save me! I have not had a solid night sleep (I consider 1opm to 5am a solid night sleep) since Andrew was born. Perhaps I'm lying -- I could have forgotten the 1 or 2 that slipped in there while I was unconscious! I really expected by 9 months that I would have trained Andrew to calmly sleep through the night and I would wake up in the morning refreshed and happy to greet the day. Rather, I slump out of bed and try to have the energy to exercise and then I drag my feet all day. I'm sick of this!!! I should have known better, Abby didn't sleep until she was 18 months.. but Eric slept at 3 months... I thought perhaps I was just a bad mother with Abby. I guess it's just in the genes somewhere... (probably my side, since Abby and Andrew look more like me than Eric did).
Andrew has been sick almost constantly since his 6 month checkup in October. We've had a few weeks that he seemed to be on the mend, then he catches something else. I took him into the doctor today for his 9 month well check. Oh - and the reason he didn't sleep a wink last night?? He has another ear infection. WHAT?? He wasn't running a fever, just was fussy.... but I honestly didn't think anything of it, because that's how he's been since October. Don't get me wrong - we do have happy well days here and there - it hasn't been all doom and gloom. I'm just having a hard time seeing the happy days through the tears of frustration! They just get so blurred! I asked the doctor why he has been so sick the last little while - she said that the antibiotics from the placenta only last about the first 6 months, then they are on their own antibiotics. She said it should only last until he's about 2... I wanted to cry. I have a long road ahead if he's going to be sick all the time!
And have you noticed Andrews buggery eye? Well - it's a plugged duct. It was supposed to go away on it's own, the other eye cleared up on it's own at about 3 months. But this eye just isn't. So - I'm supposed to go have it checked at Primary Childrens hospital to have an ophthalmologist take a look at it and surgically open the duct. Has anyone ever had that done?
And one more thing while I'm on this soap box... he's dropped to the 0 percentile.. Yep - there is such a thing. He is in the zero percentile for both height and weight. He weighs 14 lbs 14 oz and his height is 25.5 inches. He used to be in the 25th percentile when he was born, but has dropped down each time we've gone in. The doctor was a little concerned, so we'll be going back in to check his weight again in 3 weeks. Her advice to gain a little weight - add butter to every meal! Lucky kid huh? Well - we have heard that advice before - with Abby! She was in the 5th - 10th percentile most of her first year - then she dropped off the chart for a while before starting to gain weight again. I'd be more than happy to give him some of my extra!!
so - all in all.. it was a well check that didn't turn out so well :) But - I'm still alive and Andrew is still the cutest little guy I know, and I KNOW I should be counting my blessings and realizing that in 12 years, he'll hate me and be embarrassed to even stand next to me - so I should be relishing the chance I have to hold him and love him and kiss him. So - I guess I need to start looking at the good, wipe my tears and embrace the silver lining :)
thanks for letting me vent :)
6 years ago
5 comments:
First of all, I have to say that you sure chose a cute picture to put in this post. That was very nice of you. :)
I hear you. No, I've never had a 9-month old who still doesn't sleep through the night. And my kids have all been relatively healthy. But, all of us moms have those times when we need to vent!! It really feels like those stages will last forever when you're right in the middle of them. But, eventually they do grow up, like you said. Good luck!! Hang in there!
That's tough! I know how hard it is when you aren't getting enough sleep. You feel like you can't think straight and it's hard to handle anything! Hang in there. I know you're a great mom and that little guy is lucky to have you!
Sometimes it is good to just vent, if for nothing else hopefully it made you feel a little better. I am sorry Andrew has been so rough. It seems like you guys haven't caught a break with him yet. Things will get better, it just might take longer then you want, unfortunately! Let me know if there is anything we can do to help. You are a great mom!! Hang in there!
Those crazy doctors! They must know that Bradley children are just little. I don't understand how adding butter to a diet could be a good thing. I did have a friend whose doctor told her to add bacon grease to everything. That's interesting to know about the antibodies going away at age 6 months. Maybe that's why Miles has been so sick all of a sudden! Something that has worked for Miles with sleep is propping him up on a pillow. I know we're not supposed to do that, but it really does help him sleep better. It just helps him drain a little better I guess. I hope you are able to get naps in on the weekends! Just remember that you'll have the opposite problems when he's a teenager! Vent again if you need. You have a lot of support!
Ug... I'm sorry, Maria. Vent all you want, you deserve to! Maybe warm weather will help, I know it changed everything for Zack. That's not too far away, right? hopefully...
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